5.26.2011

Movies I've Seen Lately

I watch movies frequently, as you already know. I've done one of these lists before, as you already know. If you don't know, then feel free to check out my last movie breakdown here.

Wristcutters: A Love Story: If you can stand to watch a very dark comedy about the after life of people that commit suicide then this is the film for you. If you can stand to watch a movie that has an actress in it that in real life named her son Audio Science, then this is definitely the film for you. I really enjoyed it. Right up until about five minutes before the very end. I won't give it away, just in case you haven't seen it. But, prepare yourself. For. Nothing. And maybe some spinning around in space. Okay, that's all I'm going to say. And this.

Say "cheese"!

The Broken Hearts Club: Um. I loved this movie. It's a love story centered around a group of gay male friends. I'm not sure exactly how many, if any, of the actors that portrayed gay men were in fact actually gay. I know for a fact that one of them isn't. And I swear on all that is holy if you ever tell me that he is, I will punch you in the face. Okay. Aside from that. It was a lovely movie, a refreshing love story and the love story comes from a place that you don't expect.

What? This is a totally legitimate baseball team.

When Strangers Appear: I caught this flick on Lifetime during one of my Saturday afternoon laundry-fests. By laundry I mean sitting on the couch. This movie took about $15 to make. The main story seemed like a good idea...but that all goes down the drain when you realize that  *SPOILER ALERT* when the movie is over you have no clue what was going on or the reason behind it. That's right. The credits roll and you look around like maybe you've been Punk'd. (It's been years humanity, can we stop using that term now? We could call it 'Amber'd' but that would mean that before the trick happened I would have to show up and giggle right before and perhaps roll around on the floor.) So, I suggest seeing this movie if you can stand to be left not knowing. Anything.



The Sandlot 2: Stop it.

 Seriously. Don't watch this.

5.19.2011

Proud

Today is a post where I brag about my brother. Because I love him and because I want to. And because one time I slapped him in the face because he followed me all the way from the far away barn on our farm to our house while yelling and throwing rocks. I still feel bad. I don't think he gives a shit, hell he might not even remember. That? Is love. Also, an example of how I don't let things go. One time he pulled down my pants in front of the gas station. So there.

After high school my precious Morgie Porgie went to California to attend MUD - Make-up Designory. When he left I cried like he was never coming back...even though he was coming back in a few weeks for Thanksgiving. Then he went back after Thanksgiving...I may have cried even more. Then he was gone for awhile...then he was home for summer or something...and then he went back...and then I finally had to upgrade to a Blackberry to increase my texting speed. I don't even know how people can text without a full keyboard. So inconvenient.

Then he got all done with make up school and came back home to get his business degree. Isn't he amazing? I know.

THEN he worked at a local furniture chain because OHMYGOD do you know how hard it is to get a job at the MAC counter at Nordstrom?

So, guess what? HE GOT THE JOB FINALLY! YAY! Hero of the day!

And guess what else he did in between all of that? Met someone else that is amazing, Angelo!

And guess what happened to Angelo this week also? He became manager of the salon that he works at.

What an amazing week for them and an amazing life coming up! So, that's what this is about. Saying that I'm so proud and happy to be a part of their lives and couldn't imagine a life without them.

There he is. Cute.

 There he is with my favorite girl.

There he is with my favorite boy.

 And there is Morgan and Angelo.
Even they can't believe the magnitude of the awesomeness contained here in this photo.


5.13.2011

See A Penny Pick It Up...

Do yall know that saying, "See a penny, pick it up, all the day you'll have good luck."? I know it because it was engraved onto my soul as a young'n. Being from Louisiana, I'm full of sayings and superstitions. And no, I am not also full of shit, regardless of what my husband says.

Mammaw taught me to only pick up the pennies that are laying heads up, those are good luck. Heads down, bad luck. Not only that but she also taught me to put the penny in my shoe. She ALWAYS had a penny in her shoe, and so did I.

Momma taught me to never throw away money or vacuum up money off the ground. She explained it as, if we treat money like it means nothing or is trash then we can't expect the Lord to bless us with financial health. She didn't say it that eloquently, it was more like, "If you throw away or vacuum up money you can't expect Jesus to help you out when yer broke, also, I'll whoop yer ass." I'm not saying she isn't eloquent, because Lord knows she is, she just didn't waste her beautiful talk on my childhood ears. On a similar note, I recently had to explain to Madison what "half-ass'n it" means.

I feel like you should know this about me, since recently one of my closest friends displayed her shock at my alien like behavior. Because apparently, picking up pennies is just crazy sauce.

We were leaving the mall, I was trailing behind a bit and I noticed the shine of a penny on the ground. As I passed I noticed it was heads up, well, I can't pass that up. I do try and pick up pretty quickly because, let's face it, I don't want to remain bent over in public very long. I tried picking it up quickly but faltered because it was raining and it was kind of in a puddle, at that moment Stephanie turned around.

"Did that just happen?"

Yes it did.

And I'm one lucky sonofabitch.

Okay, well, not really...but one day I bet.


PENNY!

5.10.2011

Ball?

I make him say "Ball" no less than 96 times per day. It never gets old.



Don't mind the oatmeal on his face...
and please don't pay attention to the fact he is in desperate need of a haircut.

The Road Is Their Home....if you help.

Okay. There are only 9 days left to pledge money to help Thera go on tour.

Visit their Kickstarter page, and pledge whatever you can or want to. That would be fantastic. Because, see they have done a shit ton of work to get ready to go on tour and it would be so very sad if they didn't get to go. Also, if you pledge they give you presents! PRESENTS!

I'm totally down with some presents.

Here's the page, help if you can.

Thera's "The Road is our Home" tour.

How can you say no to these faces?

5.07.2011

An Unfortunate Theme

Welp, I guess the theme of the week is spiders. Lord save me.

As I'm telling you these next couple of things please keep in mind that this happened in one day. And not just that, but all in the span on one hour. All in one hour. When I take down my ponytail later I'm betting my hair just comes out with it.

We are all in the car heading to a birthday party, at a bouncy house play land, I should've taken a xanax. On the way to buy the gift I hear a whisper scream from the backseat. It sounded like "spppprrrrrrrrrrrr".

I turned around to say, "Whaaaaa?" When I saw it...legs. I've trained myself to maintain my composure in high stress situations around my children. I stayed relatively calm while levitating out of my seat. I could see Madison slowly coming unglued.

It was hanging out on the ceiling of the vehicle like it was invited. It was not.

We pulled up the to the store and Joe let us out...well, I got out after the car stopped...Madison, not so much. When we got back to the car we asked if he had murdered the spider.

"Yep."

Then as I'm buckling in he says to me, "I forgot." Fool.

He said that at the same time that Madison realized that she had been betrayed. I'm afraid that anything that I say will not even come close to the description of what happened next. Basically, Madison lost all of her shit. Somehow she buckled herself in (only after I warned her of car accidents that involve being flung through windshields) while crouching in front of her seat. One bump and she would be strangled. We drove to the bouncy house play land wonderous universe and again she was out of the car like nothing I've ever seen before.

I don't think she even used the door handle, she just kicked it open with her two feet and leaped for the sidewalk grabbing her headband as it flew off her head midair.

Joe killed the spider and all was instantly well in the world.

NEXT.

We are in the bouncy house play land wonderous  universe of amazing miracles and Joe tells me a gem of a story. Are you ready?

He says, "Last time I brought the kids here this big fat black hairy spider came down from the ceiling on it's web...it was huuuuuge." (then he made a big circle with this fingers to demonstrate the size of the alien spider)

I said, "So...it's STILL HERE!?" (yes, people were staring)

He said, ".....................................................yessssssssssss. Fuck."

Everyone there thought I was coming down from sort of drug that I don't know about because I've never done drugs.

Don't let that smile fool you. That bag is where he keeps the teeth.
And souls.

5.06.2011

Sweet Dreams He Says...

Do you like spiders? Did you say "No."? Or did you say, "What the fuck, are you crazy! 'Don't Like' doesn't even begin to explain my gutteral hate for those creatures of serial murder and too many damn legs!"? If you said the second thing then we are probably friends.

If you say, "Meh, spiders ain't so bad." Then you are insane. Spiders are that bad.

I'm not sure what fuels the general populations' hate on for spiders. Maybe it's because they are spiders...but I'm only guessing here.

Last night before bed. And I mean, like, right before. Like, I was already in the bed and all ready to get all snuggly with my blanket and get my dream on. So close to closing my eyes and resting peacefully.
Right before all of that.
Joe says, "Well, there are spiders in the closet."

DING says my eyes.

All I could squeak out was a "Whaaaaaaa?"

"Yep. Found one today. So you should probably check your clothes before putting them on."
Then I explain that my clothes aren't going in the closet anymore and if tomorrow he would kindly get them all out of the closet and put them on the dresser that would be fantastic. Also, why do you hate me?

His utter confusion is what baffles me. Know what else? When we met he said that he hates spiders and this was backed up by his family. They all said that he hated them. I liked that. We both have an extreme hate of spiders and that would be good for us together because we would be hyper alert to the monsters.
Little did I know that this was a lie. A falsehood if you will. He doesn't hate spiders. He isn't bothered by their presence or even their existence. He can be in the same room with one and not require emergency assistance from firefighters or ninjas or a tiny spider killing army.
Long story short, I didn't sleep well last night and so far I have lost a bathroom and a closet to a spider.
Dammit.

See. Even spiders are on my side.

5.05.2011

Fantastic Find

Sometimes when I'm out mingling amongst the humans I see really awesome things that I think maybe you would like to know about. I will start sharing these things with you.

I am not being paid or acknowledged for telling you about things, this is done all on my own and the people that make or distribute whatever I tell you about have no idea who I am.

Unless I tell you otherwise.

First thing.

Okay, I didn't actually find this. My super awesome friend Stephanie gave me one of these cards for my birthday and now I am in love with them and will probably only give these cards from now on. (While we're on the subject of Stephanie, don't forget to help them go on tour by donating to their Kickstarter!)

They are by Bald Guy Greetings.

This is the card that I received:







The shop that she purchased it at is called Fuego, I couldn't find that you can order these cards from that store, but you can order them directly from the Bald Guy site itself. Or go to the site and search for the location nearest you!