6.19.2012

Haunted

You already know that I'm easily scared...as shown here, here...and here. There's not much I can do about it - I guess conditioning might work. I could go live in a haunted house for a year and I'll come out with nerves of steel. I will also be a psychopath.

Recently Coop decided to throw a fit all night long (turns out he was sick) and keep me up fetching him water and blocks of gold. After being up most of the night laying next to a toddler that is apparently made of elbows and spastic tendencies I finally drifted off. I was hanging on for dear life to the edge of the bed since a King size bed is just big enough for a 2-year-old.

Someone whispers in my ear. I shot up and out of bed so fast that all of the bedding came with me, there I stood in attack mode (read: defense mode) glaring around the room for the offender (read: witch). I say witch, because this happened recently:

It's true.

There's no one around. I re-make the bed and try to sleep with my eyes open - I'm not great at it. I went on about my day as normal, scared of everything. The next morning...it happens again. The voice didn't wake me up entirely I just knew it was there and it scared me but my sleepiness out weighed my need to evacuate the room. I also knew that it was the creepiest voice I had ever heard but I couldn't figure out WHAT she was saying. It was just scary.

I thought perhaps it was my new alarm clock app on my phone. I checked all of the settings, nope - no "ghost witch" capability. I set my alarm for a few minutes later so I could listen to it, I thought maybe if a certain amount of time passed without turning it off a voice would come on and say "wake the fuck up". Nope, that wasn't it either.

The next morning I actually woke up a few seconds before it happened. I lay there groggy and I hear "There is a secret." hissed into my earhole. HISSED. I jumped out of bed and stared at my phone, that's where it was coming from. I wondered if the warranty covered demon possession...hmm. I drank my coffee while staring at the clearly possessed cell phone when it dawned on me - I recently installed The Secret app. 

You know, The Secret - book, movie, inspiration, life changing, yada yada. Well, I have it set up to remind me to read my daily "secret". Apparently they decided the best way to remind their customers to read a secret is to have a demon ghost whisper it to them. It disturbed me so much that I had to leave a glowing review:

(click the picture to see the entire image)
Please go to the app store from your phone and mark my review as helpful...the world needs it.

6.06.2012

Changes...

Welp, it's time for a blog update - as in, an update to my overall look right here on this blog. It's been a few years since I've updated.

So, stay tuned for that shit to kick in.

In other news, my stepsister is back up and blogging - Sarah!


Twitter

Do you tweet? If so, do you also follow me on Twitter?

If you answered yes, well then - Thanks! If you answered no, well then - What the fuck? Why the hell don't you follow me? Do you not like my tweets? Do you not like to read hilarious things that I saw about stuff you don't even care about?

Fine then.

If you do follow me and are looking for more super sexy and funny people to follow here are a few of my favorites as of late.







I favorite pretty much everything Kasey Anderson tweets...
he's probably the funniest person that I don't know.

6.05.2012

Momma Said

This will be going over on the "Momma" page, but I love it so much that I'm putting it here first.

Momma: Yeah, she spent a few years in Antarctica. There's a ton of people there working all living together in this one huge place. There are penguins.

Me: What do they do there?

Momma: Mill around, I guess.

Me: *blink* Not the penguins. The people.

These penguins are milling around.
In case you didn't know what that looks like.