9.24.2012

Scary Movies

Up until about 8 years ago it was a weekly tradition for me to watch scary movies with my family. But, I have an overactive imagination and I was recently single so I was at home alone with a baby, at night, when it's dark, during prime murder/possession/torture/haunting time.

One night someone shook my door knob and I called everyone I knew until I found someone to come over and identify my body. When the person arrived they discovered a little door tag hanging menu on my door - so clearly, some psychopath was using the door knob hanging menu thing as a trick to check for unlocked doors.

Clearly.

That's when I decided I should take a break from scaring the absolute shit out of myself. I said, "No more scary movies for me." Now, it's many years later and I'm alone all the time and I still think there's someone in my house at least once per night so I figured, might as well watch the movies anyway - I'm already batshit. My showers take twice as long as normal people because I spend half of the time peering out of the curtain to check for...I don't even know. Up until a while ago I only used one of those clear shower curtain liners as my shower curtain because it saved me so much time. Obviously I'm ready to watch scary movies again.

I kicked off my movie watching with Cabin in the Woods.



Look at that shit.

It's about a group of college friends (duh) that go to spend the weekend in a cabin in the woods (see what they did there?). Because when I was in college that's exactly what I wanted to do - spend my weekend in a moldy cabin in the middle of nowhere. Also, let's drive an old RV to the cabin - because that makes sense.

These two people are in it, bonus for the girls. I don't remember if there are boobs for the guys - they usually throw boobs in for the guys...so I'm assuming they were there and I just didn't notice. Bewbs.

 
I will watch anything that has this face.

I don't even know his name - I call him "eyeballs".

Personally, I liked the movie. It wasn't terribly scary - but I was scared at the potential of being scared so I spent most of the movie curled up into a ball in anticipation. Most people I know don't even think scary movies are scary - they are though. That's why they are called scary movies, jerks.

It was weird. That's probably the main reason I liked it. It was funny, I like that too. It poked fun a little bit at typical scary movie situations - I like that. 

I understand that my "review" isn't helpful to anyone in any way whatsoever - but reviewing movies isn't my real job so you can't be mad.

If you are looking for a movie that will scare you - this isn't it. If you're looking for a movie that will leave you thinking, "Whaaaa...okay.", this is your cup of tea or scary demon blood, if that's what you're in to.

Next on my list: Silent House & House at the End of the Street, and then I'll find something that probably doesn't have the word 'house' in it and I'll watch it in my car because I'll be too scared to go into my house.