Is This the Month of June?

It must be. I mean, it can't be December right? It can't be the week of Christmas. Nope. No way. No how. Right?

Oh, am I the only one that has noticed this? There haven't been ANY decent Christmas movies on TV. NONE. Sure, I have a few Christmas movies on DVD, but that's not the point. I think right after Thanksgiving I saw that Elf was on, so I DVR'd it. A week or two ago there were a few Christmas specials on the local channels (Charlie Brown, Shrek, etc.)

But now? IT'S THE WEEK OF CHRISTMAS! This blatant disregard for the holiday had me in a rage...poor Joe was the recipient of said rage.

Me: Let's find a Christmas movie to watch!

Joe: Okay. Sure.

Me: (flipping through all 1,654 channels....flip, flip, flip, flip.)

Me: (now checking the On Demand channels...flip, flip, flip, flip.) What the hell is this?

Joe: What?

Me: There are NO Christmas movies on!!

Joe: What about "random movie name here"? That's a good movie.

Me: IS IT A CHRISTMAS MOVIE JOSEPH?! IS IT?! No.

4 hours later...

Joe: (flipping through channels...flip, flip, flip) He stops on Big...then puts on Doc Hollywood.

Me: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!? DO THEY NOT REALIZE THAT IT IS 2 DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS AND THEY ARE PLAYING THIS SHIT!

Joe: This is a good movie...

Me: YEAH, ANY OTHER DAY OF THE EFFING YEAR! THIS IS CHRISTMAS! WHERE IS CHRISTMAS VACATION? WHERE IS RUDOLPH? WHERE IS FROSTY?

I don't have the time or space to continue with my entire diatribe...but it went on for a while. So long in fact, that Joe removed himself from within my flailing arm range, went to pee, came back out and I was still going on.

Me: AND ANOTHER EFFING THING, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CRAP ABOUT THEM PLAYING WHITE CHRISTMAS ONLY ON FRIDAY MORNING AND ON AN HD CHANNEL!?!?

I am proud to say that I have calmed down considerably since then...though I am still in a funk about the whole thing.

Oh, Clark. I miss your face.

Happy Halloween

Well, now it's November, so Happy November! How was your Halloween? Was it everything you dreamed and hoped for?

Did your Leg Avenue costume come in the mail on time? Sorry. That was harsh.

When I see those costumes I actually cringe. Is there no imagination left in the world? I wouldn't mind if it was a sexy moon fairy costume if at least it had been put together piece by piece and didn't come out of a bag. A whore bag. Oops. Sorry again.

I was Flo. The Progressive Insurance Lady. I had to clarify because someone mistook me for Flo from that show Alice.

Guy: Oh, I thought you were Flo from that show…what was it, from the 70s?


Me: Alice?

Guy: That show with the waitress, Alice and the diner…

Me: ALICE!?

Guy: Yeah, Alice. I thought you were Flo, from that show.

Me: IT’S QUITE OBVIOUS THAT I’M FLO FROM THE PROGRESSIVE INSURANCE COMMERCIALS. QUITE. OBVIOUS.

Momma: Ooh. Indignant.

Yes.

No.

This coming from a man in no costume. Thanks for showing up and bringing your 'A' game, dude.

Here It Is...

This is it, this is where you get to make fun of me and all that jazz. I don't care though. Well, I care a little so please be gentle. You may have noticed the new heading for the blog this month. Yes, that is an image from the movie New Moon. Yes, I am a fan.

I generally keep this secret, only a handful of people know how much I love this series. I've read the books and am now reading them AGAIN. My sister-in-law, we'll call her B, turned me on to the books. I wasn't going to read them but she insisted and I finished all 4 in about five days. I couldn't stop. Then I watched the Twilight movie (disappointed in the Director, but I won't show my true geekiness) and it is now a constant in my 5-disc player.

I then turned my brother onto the books and movie. Morgan resisted at first but now he is totally into it and we are partners in the insanity. I have also recently found another FAN here at work, we'll call her E, and she is awesome because we are equally geeky about it and agree on everything. It's terrible I know but I just can't help it. Okay, I'm going to stop now because this will just go on and on and be a ridiculous diatribe about how Catherine Hardwicke totally screwed up the first movie though it was still great but New Moon is going to be fan-fucking-tastic and it doesn't matter that I am having a baby this month and that Morgan is turning 21 because those two life milestones don't matter at all because New Moon is in theatres on the 20th and if this kid decides to come that weekend he is starting life out on the the wrong foot.

Okay, I'm done.