What a Beautiful Stew

While at the bank recently I noticed that they had a new calendar out for patrons to have...for FREE. I'm all over that shit.

While standing at the teller counter waiting for her to count all my piles and piles of cash...  ...   ...

Are you done laughing? No? Okay, I'll wait.

While she was counting my items, I picked up this calendar. Opened it up to the first month (January, in case some of you are confused about how a calendar works.) and there was a bunny! All of the estrogen in my body kicked in and I whisper-squealed, "BUNNY!", the next month was a moose, then a bear, a caribou, well, you get the picture. Each month had a cute animal that is relevant to Alaska featured. I snatched that sucker up and shoved it in my bag.

Free, remember?

After I got home I took a few minutes to go through the calendar and look at all of the photo's, BUNNY!

Further inspection of each page forced me to come to a very disturbing realization. This is not just a calendar, it is a cook book.

And not just any cook book, but a cook book where they show you a photo of your food in its natural habitat. Then it tells you how to cook it.

Photo of the cutest bunny ever...here's how to cook and then eat it.

Because we hate bunnies.

And you.

And now we have your money.

And we are preparing dead bunnies on it.


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I love it when you say things to me that reinforce me positively. So...carry on then, do that thing. Lastly, capital hat!