You've heard of Subway right? You know, the place you go to tell people how to make your sandwich? I've been there quite a few times, and by "quite a few times" I mean a lot. I've been there a lot.
I went there today. I wanted a BLT. On Honey Oat bread. With lots of things on it. Now here's where I wonder if I'm the only one that does this...I can usually tell by looking at a person whether or not I can tell them my entire vegetable order or if I need to go one at a time. Do you understand what I'm talking about here? No need to fret, I'll explain.
I've ordered my type of sandwich. That order taking person puts my bread with meat into the oven to toast. Now I stand in front of the vegetable adding lady and wait for my sandwich to come out. She gets it out of the oven and then asks, "What do you want on it?". I can do one of two things, I can rattle off all of the things I want, or I can say "Lettuce." Wait for her to add lettuce. "Bell peppers..." and so on.
I size her up (totally judging a book by its cover, what the fuck ever) and decide that she cannot handle having the whole list given to her at once.
I say, "Lettuce..."
She looks at me, without adding the lettuce mind you, and says, "What else?" She's basically forcing me to tell her everything. I narrow my eyes at her because, duh, she basically challenged me.
"Lettuce, bell peppers, onions, olives, a few jalapeno peppers, mayo, salt and pepper." One breath.
She adds the lettuce, looks at me and says, "did you say bell peppers?"
Then of course I had to go through the entire list with her one by fucking one, because "oh gee, I thought I could remember a list of seven things". (I count the salt and pepper as one thing because they are mixed together in that little shaker cup. Sweet baby Jesus, they barely have to do anything themselves.)
I don't have a picture pertaining to this story, so here's a cute
kitty that has fallen asleep in his food.
He's so tired you guys.