8.26.2010

My Name Is Superstar.

I have a rule about not telling stories about work. I am only going to share this story because it took place at an old workplace and it's not about the work, just about an event...err, situation.

It was my first week in the office and I was just learning where everything was and who everyone was. I was asked to take a large printout to the office at the end of the hall.

"Give it to Gay." they tell me.

"OKAY!" I say wanting to pass as helpful and responsible. You know me by now, I'm neither.

I grab up the print job and head down the hall, shoulder's back, head held high...for a second. As I walk towards the office I see that there are two people in the office, a man and a...woman, she was wearing flannel and a less than desirable hairstyle.

I walked past the office door with a look of panic. I knew that if I kept walking I would eventually end up back here and that would give me enough time to figure out what to say...Oh GOD, what do I say?

"Are you Gay?"
"Who's Gay?"
"Hey, Gay?"
"Hi Gay."
"This is Gay's."

What the fuck. I was instantly pissed of that I had been put in this situation and wondered for a second if I was being Punk'd. What if they were just joking with me? The office had no nameplate on the outside, so how the hell am I supposed to know?!

What if I walk in and say "Gay?" and then one of them say's "Yes." Is it "yes" my name is Gay, or "yes" I'm gay? Oh, shit, I'm back to the office...keep walking. Who named this person? Why would they do that? Why don't we wear name tag's here? That would make everything simpler...They should definitely start putting nameplate's on the outside of the office's so that we know and visitor's know who is in there! I feel like I'm in some sort of test or conspiracy. Did I already make someone mad? Do they want me to get fired?

By now I have crinkled up the print job, my hair is a mess, my face has sweated all my make-up off, my eyes are all darty and crazy and I'm already back at the office door! Why am I walking so fast?!

By now, they've seen me pass this door at least two times that I can remember.

I decided, well, my mouth decided to just say "Gay?" like a question...but it came out like "GAY!" The woman looked up and I shrieked "THIS IS FOR YOU!" and flung the paper into the air, I think she caught it, I didn't stick around to find out.

I ran past my bosses door, "I'M GOING TO LUNCH!"

I'm going to change Cooper's name to "Genius" and Madison's name will be "Rocket Scientist". Because that's what we're doing these day's right?

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I love it when you say things to me that reinforce me positively. So...carry on then, do that thing. Lastly, capital hat!