There's Something Wrong With You and other tales from the crypt.

The kids and myself went to Momma and Jack's house tonight to celebrate the grand opening of "El Grande Casita". (Don't critique my use of El, I can't remember if Grande is feminine or masculine or if that even matters or is applicable in choosing whether to use "el" "le" or "los" in this situation, my eye just twitched thinking about it.) Back to the topic, it is the brand new playhouse that Grandpa Jack built and Mae Mae decorated (and helped build). We have been waiting all week to finally make it over there to check it out and I will have a separate post later this week that is strictly about this magnificent abode. It is stunning. Just wait, you'll see.

After enjoying some great momma/mae-mae/daughter/granddaughter moments we went back inside to prepare for dinner. I was haggling with Cooper over whether or not he would allow me to bring the spoon near his face and how far I could get said spoon to his mouth before he used his cat like reflexes to knock the damn thing out of my hand. Finally I had to just give it up and step away or someone was going to end up with peas on their head. Yes, it probably would've been me.

Throughout this scene I kept hearing Momma mention that she was hot.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before but the women in my family don't do well with hot. I'll give a brief rundown; outside hot = fine, inside hot = the opposite of fine. She tried opening the door but then Jack explained that noone else is hot so why make us cold if she's the only one hot. This may sound like logical reasoning, unless you are the one that is hot. If you are the one that is hot then that explanation sounds more like this, "Oh, you're hot? Well, fuck you then. While you're not looking I go over and turn up the thermostat and then tell you that I'm not hot so that you think you are crazy and look at me I'm not hot I'm so very comfortable you fucking lunatic! Oh, you want some cold water sweetie? Here, have some room temperature water."

I never said we were sane.

Finally dinner was done and we are enjoying a nice meal including a fantastic Cabernet Sauvignon that was delicious. We were just about done eating, having some nice conversation and I turn to my left where Momma is sitting and I notice I can see her stomach, I thought her shirt had ridden up. Nope. All of a sudden that shirt came flying off, eyes wild and hair going crazy.


I simply cannot get enough of this vision. I don't know where to look, I want to see Jack, Madison, and Cooper's expressions but I don't dare tear my eyes away from this epic scene that is taking place right in front of my eyes. She gives a lot of different descriptions of how her skin is melting off of her body but I just don't see it. That's when Jack says what I've been waiting for. The obligatory "husband remark".

"There's something wrong with you."

He then backed it up by saying, "No, seriously. Something is wrong with you."

I love how they try to make us feel better. Either way the whole scenario had me in tears and I gave everyone fair warning that this was definitely a story to be shared.

So, Momma, there's nothing wrong with you. Damn, is it hot in here or what?

1 comment:

  1. Seriously I just had a great laugh! You crack me up and i am a little shocked your mom was stripping. And jack... Well hopefully he is still alive! Miss you and your momma! ~ Tiffany


I love it when you say things to me that reinforce me positively. So...carry on then, do that thing. Lastly, capital hat!