My house smells like puke...with a hint of fruit cocktail. It all started last weekend. I was trying to get the smallest human into bed so that I could have an evening of wine and girl's night. He was standing at my feet and he made a sound like he had a tickle in his throat. I picked him up so I could get a look (thinking it was a dog hair...that is commonplace in this house), holding him a little higher than my face as I looked up and into his throat.
I'll leave you with that for a second...
Next, I am in the shower fully clothed so I can spray my sweatshirt and neck off. I wanted to be able to get my sweatshirt off without getting puke in my hair. I have standards.
This being the very first time that Coop has puked, it was traumatizing. The next 27 times being the first 27 times that he puked were traumatizing as well.
Fast forward to Monday night. He's finally in bed for the first time since he got sick. I had just opened my laptop go give you fine folks a holler and to send a few emails to notify the world that I am still alive and maybe I don't smell so nice, when it hit me like something hits someone and it's covered in sweat and lots of little pokies and tells you that it hates you and maybe you should throw your computer on the floor so you can run to the bathroom but hey, watch out for Bocephus he's right behind you.
Fast forward to Wednesday night. I'm finally asleep for the first time since I got sick, when I open my eyes to my girl's face, eyes as big as golf balls. "Well. I'm sick. I just threw up." She seemed more irritated than sick. I spent the rest of the night next to her as she expelled fluids. It was a grand old time.
Fast forward, but watch out for that puddle of vom right there...no, over there..okay, you missed it. Now it's Friday. Joe is sick. But it's fine, because he doesn't know how to be sick for real. He vacuum's.
Now we are all better. Just in time for Spring Break to be over and for momma to return from her 2 week supposed to be 1 week vacation in Hawaii. She's also bringing her leg which is bleeding internally.
More on that later.
No. That's vomit.