I am really getting tired of the whole "Can something bad happen in this situation? Sure. Okay, then BAM!" situation. It's not even big things that send me over the edge, it's the small stuff. Here's a list. I know how you love my list's.
1. Hands wet? Signal nose to itch like nobody's business.
2. Hands wet? Phone, where are you? Oh, there you are under the important documents. RING!
3. Hands wet? Wait, why are my hands wet all the time?
4. Need to open the car door? Something that needs to not hit pavement go ahead and shoot out like a rocket. Then, have a family of four walk by while I yell "MOTHER FUCKER" into the universe.
5. Trackball on Blackberry broken and just sitting in the holder? Signal pothole so the phone will go flying and the trackball will gracefully jump out the window.
6. Need to rush somewhere? Or even just walk slowly somewhere? Hey foot, why don't you just shoot out towards that wall or handy concrete block. Thanks.
7. Waiting to hear the last results from America's Got Talent? GCI cable, you asshole, go ahead and freeze my episode and then shoot it forward about 10 minutes. You're the best.
8. Have a little extra money? Car break down. Water heater flood. Chaos ensue.
9. Out of diapers? Explosion!
10. Audition? Hi clear skin...goodbye clear skin.
So, that's just a few. I feel better now just getting those irritants off my chest. Now I will go to bed...but not before stubbing my toe on the way and scratching my cornea while taking out my contacts.
Now that I've typed this all up I realize that I may have addressed my Murphy's Law situations before...but I've done all this work so, enjoy.