What's In A Name? Well, It Depends On How Many You Have.

I have three names, first - middle - last. I understand that a lot of people have more than that and that is great. The basic rule of thumb is, you only go by the one name. Unless you have some nickname that some people call you but then others don't so then when you meet people half of your friends introduce you as Socko and the other half introduce you as Wayne and noone knows what your name is or who you are and why are you even here, where's Socko? Where's Wayne!? What have you done with them?! Poor Wayne and Socko, they were fun, too bad they're gone forever... Then you're all, I'm right here! And they're all, you're nuts man.

Or you could be like my mom and go by every single name depending on what day it is and what hour. Counting her maiden name she has 5 names. Recently she went to the pharmacy to pick up a presciption and was told my the clerk that her insurance company responded to the claim by saying "This person is not insured." Which is a fantastic thing to hear when you are standing in line to purchase medication.

She called her insurance company and here is a little tidbit of the conversation. A conversation that momma thought was totally normal and accused the other party of being insane until I explained..."They are insane? Are you sure? Because you have 17 names and it can be confusing..."

Momma: Hello. I tried to get a presciption filled and they told me that I was uninsured...that is incorrect.

Guy: Yes. I see here that the pharmacy tried to fill a prescption for a Jessi R. Wade...

Momma: Yes.

Guy: Who is that?

Momma: Me.

Guy: It says here you are Robin J. Wade...sooo.

Momma: Yes. I showed her my insurance card AND my drivers license. My first name is Jessi but I don't use that name.

Guy: So, it's not on your birth certificate anymore?

Momma: No, it's still there. Actually. My first name is Miss, but I go by Robin, but my first name is Jessi.

Guy: So....

Right? Confusing.

This also from the mother who raised us all to call my brother by his middle name and now that he's older he's grown weary of correcting anyone that calls him by his actual first name so now he goes by both names, depending on where he is and how old he was when he met the person.

People. I am the normal one.

Isn't that scary?