12.11.2010

Unrealistic Reactions

I have a Momma story, it's too long for the "Momma" page so I'll just put it here. Okay, a little back story. As the political season winds down, still too fresh in our memories are all of the ad campaigns and the signs and the bumper stickers and teeth gnashing. Still too fresh in our memories are the faces of those running for office, those that won the primary but then lost to a write-in candidate. The same candidate that they defeated in the beginning of the grand race.

Please wait while I go have a shot of whiskey.

I'm back.

I dislike politics so very very very much. But, the back story is needed for those of you who do not live in Alaska or that do not pay attention to politics.

Joe Miller ran for Senate this year. Which meant we saw his face about a bajillion and half times per hour. I'm not exaggerating. For serious ya'll. Plus, I'm a registered voter, so trust me.

By the time it was all said and done I think we were all just about tired of seeing his face. Now, flash forward to this week.

Momma calls, and instead of telling the story I will just break out our conversation.
*For those of you that I personally know, I think I told you she was at a restaurant, she corrected me, it was the airport.
Momma: I'm so mad at Joe Miller!

Me: What?

Momma: Ugh. He has just really pissed me off.

Me: Wha? (See, I'm confused here because she doesn't know Joe Miller personally...right?)

Momma: So, I'm at the airport and I had to use the bathroom. I'm walking out with all my business and I see a man standing there on his cell phone. I recognize him and think that maybe it's one of my clients so I say, "HEY!"

sidebar: Now, if you don't know Momma, her "HEY's!" are like honey. Like velvety chocolate or a cup of sugar. It's like a hug in word form.

Momma: So I say, "HEY!" and then the guy says, "HEY!" and THEN I realize....Ugh, it's Joe Miller. UGH! Joe Miller. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh!

Me: Uproarious laughter

Momma: Who stands right outside a ladies bathroom anyway?! Ugh. Pissin' me off.

Me: Can't. Breathe. Must. Get. Breath.

Momma: Y'know, he is kind of handsome.

Me: I thought you hated him!

Standing outside a bathroom near you.

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I love it when you say things to me that reinforce me positively. So...carry on then, do that thing. Lastly, capital hat!