Help...I'm Strapped To A Door

Have you seen this?

Here's another shot of it:

Morgan said that he and Angelo have one. Then he went on explaining to me what it was. What I heard was: door...cables...resistance...running away from door.

What I imagined was going to visit them and finding Morgan stuck to the door, wrapped up in resistance bands, upside down.

This is basically what would happen to me. Hell, anytime I get out a single resistance band to use when I workout I have a mini panic attack. Every time I stretch it out I make this face...the face you make before you pop a balloon face.

Like this...but with less adultery.

Do you have this thing? Have you had to be rescued while dangling from your legs? I won't get this thing...I'll just keep on taking half a xanax before I use my regular resistance bands.

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I love it when you say things to me that reinforce me positively. So...carry on then, do that thing. Lastly, capital hat!