Sweet Dreams He Says...

Do you like spiders? Did you say "No."? Or did you say, "What the fuck, are you crazy! 'Don't Like' doesn't even begin to explain my gutteral hate for those creatures of serial murder and too many damn legs!"? If you said the second thing then we are probably friends.

If you say, "Meh, spiders ain't so bad." Then you are insane. Spiders are that bad.

I'm not sure what fuels the general populations' hate on for spiders. Maybe it's because they are spiders...but I'm only guessing here.

Last night before bed. And I mean, like, right before. Like, I was already in the bed and all ready to get all snuggly with my blanket and get my dream on. So close to closing my eyes and resting peacefully.
Right before all of that.
Joe says, "Well, there are spiders in the closet."

DING says my eyes.

All I could squeak out was a "Whaaaaaaa?"

"Yep. Found one today. So you should probably check your clothes before putting them on."
Then I explain that my clothes aren't going in the closet anymore and if tomorrow he would kindly get them all out of the closet and put them on the dresser that would be fantastic. Also, why do you hate me?

His utter confusion is what baffles me. Know what else? When we met he said that he hates spiders and this was backed up by his family. They all said that he hated them. I liked that. We both have an extreme hate of spiders and that would be good for us together because we would be hyper alert to the monsters.
Little did I know that this was a lie. A falsehood if you will. He doesn't hate spiders. He isn't bothered by their presence or even their existence. He can be in the same room with one and not require emergency assistance from firefighters or ninjas or a tiny spider killing army.
Long story short, I didn't sleep well last night and so far I have lost a bathroom and a closet to a spider.
Dammit.

See. Even spiders are on my side.