Hi checker at Wal-Mart. Could you please go slower while scanning my groceries? I see that you are only reading every other item label, why don’t you go ahead and read them all. While you’re at it go ahead and run back and grab some of that Thai Chili Tuna that you are so interested in.
Yeah. Don’t you worry your pea pickin’ heart about my 11-week old screaming in his car seat. I can see it hasn’t sped you up any so please, take your fucking time.
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I love it when you say things to me that reinforce me positively. So...carry on then, do that thing. Lastly, capital hat!