6.01.2010

I Don't Have An Answer For You Right Now...Maybe Tomorrow.

I hate to argue. It's not that I hate the actual arguing or the need for arguing or whatever. I'm just not always good at it...while it's happening. Some people are great arguers, they have all of their facts and points to get across. They have prepared sides and research and a fancy pen to click in the air. Me? I have nothin'. I can't even raise one eyebrow, the more I think about it the more I feel like this is my main problem...If I could just raise one eyebrow I wouldn't have to talk at all, my eyebrow would say it all. You lazy effing eyebrow. Get a job.

I've veered I see. Okay, let me regain control of this post. Got it.

This is usually what happens:

Arguing with me person starts to argue. Then I start to argue back. I'm holding my ground, using hand and arm flailing where necessary hoping it distracts from my lack of individual eyebrow movement ability. I'm bringing up points and things sometimes. Arguing person decides to get all crafty and asks me a question about topic being argued. My eye twitches. Oh yeah EYE, you can effing move on your own but you can't get your brow friend to muster up a little movement? Fucking worthless. And that's it. I typically just stand very still and hope that the arguing person forgets I'm there and just makes a sandwich and walks away. Or sometimes I will just walk away.

But that's not all. A day later, sometimes two days later, it will come to me! The clincher! The point to end all points, the answer to the question, the statement that would bring the hammer down on the fool that even thought they could argue with me about something so stupid and trivial. They are the stupid ones...wait..what day is it? That's right, it's two days later. Now I have to ask myself. Do I, a) Call arguing ass and say "Hey, remember the other day when you asked me _____? Well...AWESOME REBUTTAL HERE!", b) Call arguing ass and try to sneakily instigate another argument so I can insert my AWESOME REBUTTAL a little more casually, you know, like I hadn't been practicing in front of every available reflective space. (Sorry guy with the huge sunglasses on at the park. Cute dog by the way.) or c) lose. Well, I don't ever lose so...I go with A! I call and say "Hey, remember yada yada yada..." and they say "No"...and I say "eye twitch".

Also, I would like to say that I am sorry that I didn't give an actual argument example. I couldn't remember an exact one to share, maybe tomorrow I will, but then you won't remember and insert eye twitch.

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I love it when you say things to me that reinforce me positively. So...carry on then, do that thing. Lastly, capital hat!