No Title Because If I Had to Think of One My Head Would Explode

I have been dealing with this water heater crap for 3 days now and I've had just about enough. Every time I hear the footsteps of one of the many men that have been gracing my door this week I take a beat and prepare myself for the news. News like the following:

• That one spot of wet on your carpet? That's not all.
• What I mean by that's not all is, your entire first floor is soaking wet under the carpet.
• We are ripping up the flooring in the bathroom.
• We are ripping up the flooring in the hall closet.
• We ripped up the carpet and removed the pad.
• Your crawlspace has standing water and you need new insulation.
• We'll have 10 of these fans on for two days, hearing damage? You should be fine...
• The fans will heat up the first floor to a chilly 95 degrees.
• The insulation in your laundry room wall got wet.
• We need to tear down the wall with the wet insulation.
• We will need to remove your new water heater and your furnace to do this.
• You won't have hot water for a few days.
• You're head is on fire...ma'am? 

This week has been the freaking best. I can't stop smiling from all the good news and excitement. The fans are going and I will have the noise of it in my head for next six years. Oh, and, the dog won't come inside because he's scared of the fans. At first he wouldn't go outside, I finally lured him down there with salmon treats and a new car. He peed for 10 minutes. Now it's raining and he won't come inside. This is fine by me. He knows its raining, he's the one out there, what the hell ever. You know who cares? Madison. And boy does she care. She cares enough to bring it up to me 60 times an hour. Over and over and over and over.  "I think he wants to come in now." "It's raining, we should go and see if he'll come in." "Can we let him in now?" "I'm going to go check on him." "He's been out there a long time."

And, she's watching High School Musical 87.

I now have 4 bald spots and a self-inflicted black eye.

Bocephus is still outside. I know because Madison just went to check.