"You were an asshole."
I will go into more detail about Momma in a post coming soon. I just have to get this small one out because it has made my day, no wait, made my life. She has struggled with her weight for a long time and has recently been told by her physician that she HAS to lose the excess weight for her health. She's been working really hard for the past month or two and is eating right and doing all the right stuff. I am really excited for her. Here is a sample of our conversation today.
Momma: "I'm ###! I haven't been under ### in a long time." (What? You thought I would broadcast a woman's weight all across the intertubes? I'm not rude. Also, I want to live.)
Me: "I know! I am so excited for you!"
Momma: "No you're not. You want me to die."
Me: Peeing my pants, hysterical laughter.
Her: Most certain that she has also peed her pants, hysterical laughter.
The things that woman says.
I love her so much.